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Stay at Home

Coronavirus Lockdown UK. Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom told me to stay at home on March 23rd, 2020. I’m writing this on June 24th, so that makes it a sliver over three months stuck inside. In the past ninety-one days, I’ve not left Ramsgate; not been on a bus or train; not sat in any pubs or restaurants. No even a Nando’s. Problem is, I’m quite enjoying it.

As I lay in bed this morning, listening to Nick Robinson on the BBC Radio 4’s Today programme (you’ve got to take your excitement where you can get it), I realised that I’ve not physically touched another human being in more than three months. The last contact was probably a handshake or a hug, I really can’t remember, probably following the last of Keith’s Pub Quizzes at the Artillery Arms. I’m not even going to try and think when sex last reared its ugly head, so to speak. I’ll leave that for another day…

The local branch of Waitrose supplies most of my culinary and bacchanalian needs and deliver it efficiently and “contact-free” every Saturday morning. Aside from that, I may pick up the odd white bloomer at the Modern Boulangerie and occasional meat-free schnitzels and aloe-vera triple action toothpaste from the Harvest Health Shop. But that’s about it. I have simple tastes and the more I stay at home, the simpler they seem to be getting.

Can I Stay at Home Forever?

I’ll be honest, my lifestyle before the lockdown wasn’t very different to how it is now. The only big difference is that before I could go to a pub or a club or watch a band if I wanted to. Now, I don’t have that option. Just about everything else I want to do, I can, including cooking perfect rice and putting on weight.

While I’ve been writing, the very same Boris Johnson has announced that pubs, bars and restaurants will be able to open again in just ten days, subject to restrictions, of course. Should I be pleased? Is this good news?

I’m starting to notice a vague feeling of panic seeping into my consciousness. Where is that coming from?

Don’t I want to be free?

Or do I want to stay at home for ever?

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